HbyD Gifs: Reverse Retro Jerseys
Today marks two exciting milestones for me; first, the NHL unveiling all 31 of the highly anticipated Reverse Retro jerseys, and second, the 30th anniversary of one of my all-time favorite films, Home Alone. Now bear with me, but seeing as it felt like fate for these two events to fall on the same day, it felt only fitting to introduce a new type of analysis in the HbyD repertoire; a gif reaction to all 31 jerseys using exclusively gifs from Home Alone (ok, and a few from Home Alone 2).
For those looking for a more serious and in-depth analysis, we’ll have a full round table breakdown soon, but in the meantime, I’ll let the McCallister family and crew do the talking.
As terrifying as Kevin’s late night walk in Central Park. The Wild Wing has haunted as many dreams as the cab driver in Home Alone 2.
Like Marv’s entrance to the McCallister home through the open window, this jersey seemed like a good idea at first… Kachina dog head, lizard patches, but the desert landscape around the waist and purple backdrop cheapen the whole thing, and well, are about as painful as stepping barefoot onto a pile of glass ornaments.
Harry’s pure joy upon hearing the McCallisters are leaving for Paris is comparable to my reaction when seeing the Bruins jersey for the first time. Long live the sans-serif B and crack bear.
Oh Buffalo… the royal blue is great, but the sword logo and waist stripe typography could’ve used a blowtorch to the head.
Calgary didn’t tweak much from their original horse head jerseys, so like Kevin being left home alone, it’s pretty cool they didn’t burn (pun intended) anything to the ground. If it ain’t broke…
Hartford Whalers Carolina Hurricanes
Like Kevin on Christmas morning, what hockey design nerd doesn’t get excited about the Whalers logo? And with Pucky making a comeback on the shoulder patches? As satisfying as a highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner.
While the look of this Blackhawks jersey is really nice, it was the only jersey in the NHL thread to only show the back (the front was later tweeted by the Blackhawks’ proshop), raising suspicion that something may be under wraps or changing with the front crest.
Don’t hate me, Quebec City readers, but the Avs’ Nordiques edit is the wet-bandits-getting-arrested of the Reverse Retro jerseys, the ultimate triumph. The logo is damn near perfect, and the fleur de lis look perfect in the Colorado burgandy.
Columbus Blue Jackets
Like Kevin’s realization that his family disappearing may actually be a good thing, these Blue Jackets jerseys grew on me. The stars on the sleeves are a nice detail, and the stripes balance out the extended yokes, so I’ll take it.
Damn, these Dallas sweaters are as confusing and disorienting as waking up half-conscious to everyone in your house vanishing. Whether it’s contrast, color blocking, something… these jerseys left me looking for more like my family just disappeared to Paris.
Detroit Red Wings
You start out great with the Red Wings’ near perfect logo, and then… all the groceries fall through the bags. The gray stripes on what’s otherwise a glorified practice jersey is just a huge bummer.
Is this Oilers jersey nice? Sure. Does it also feel like they forgot to participate in this assignment? Yes. That’s all.
It took a bit to grow on me, but I actually really dig this Panthers jersey. There’s something really satisfying about how the chunkiness of the logo illustration matches the weight of the stripes, almost as satisfying as watching the sticky bandits trip over the beads you carefully placed in the street.
Possibly the Kings’ best logo and color palette in history, this jersey combines the best of everything, like eating a giant ice cream sundae while watching rubbish.
It’s impossible not to be at least a little happy about the North Stars color palette making a comeback here, but the Wild logo in yellow and light green leaves something to be desired.
Ok, ok, so maybe “les incompetents” was a little harsh (but come on, how could I not?). Nothing will be as iconic as the red sweaters, but for a “reverse” alternate, these are pretty nice.
Like a duffle bag errantly tossed down the stairs at our feet, these Preds jerseys feel somewhat unnecessary and unwanted. Granted, Nashville doesn’t have much “retro” history to pull from, but these just feel like another variation of everything we’ve seen from Nashville thus far.
New Jersey Devils
Like being hit over the head with a Christmas tree, but in the best possible way, New Jersey knocked (again, pun intended) it out of the park with these. There might be a few too many waist stripes for my liking, but the Christmas color palette will always be a classic.
New York Islanders
What a missed opportunity… When all you want to do is make ornaments out of fish hooks (or put a fisherman on a jersey) and no one will let you, you get this Islanders jersey. Perfectly fine, but it could’ve been so much more.
New York Rangers
The lady liberty will always be a beloved jersey design, so good on the Rangers for bringing it back. Could it have used some tweaks? Sure. But overall, it’s pretty stellar.
The mediocre cheese pizza of jerseys… Could it be worse? Absolutely (hell, even bad pizza is still pizza), but this logo could’ve used a few more modernizations to give it some visual weight.
Perhaps one of the more underrated jerseys in the set, the pigeon lady of jerseys, Philly’s is actually pretty nice and has some unique detailing that could be easily overlooked. Is it flashy? No. Does it evoke the same nostalgia as some of the others? No, but would you trust it to save you with some birdseed in Central Park? Yeah, I think so.
Feeling about as content with these jerseys as Santa’s elf is with her job, they’ll do and will get us through the season, but they certainly could’ve done a lot better.
San Jose Sharks
Like Kevin’s tic tacs from “Santa,” here Adidas gave us the original Sharks logo as a treat, but not the full original sweater, as not to spoil our dinner. The gray is fine, but it’s still no candy cane.
St. Louis Blues
The upchucked pizza of jerseys… perhaps among the worst of the bunch, the Blues sweater (which they decided should be red?) brings back some of the worst elements of the 90s iteration, yet makes it even worse. I’m with Buzz, get a plate…
Tampa Bay Lightning
So close, yet… splat. Structurally this Tampa jersey is fine, but that crest with pure 90s typography is about as welcome as ice on the front steps.
Toronto Maple Leafs
The Leafs have some of the nicest and most classic jersey sets in the NHL, so when they’re given this… might as well have left your kid at home on a trip to Paris.
Some things are best forgotten, like when Kevin nearly burned down the garage, or when gradient jerseys were a thing. Alas, the Canucks decided to remind us, and while they’re not as bad as they could’ve been, they’re also far from great.
Vegas Golden Knights
Vegas, your jerseys… woof. I wasn’t a fan of this alternate logo when it debuted on the shoulder patches of Vegas’ primary uniforms, but enlarged on the front with gold metallic stripes? You get the Buzz’s girlfriend of sweaters.
Like Kevin’s staged house party, there’s a lot going on in this Caps jersey, but it’s actually kind of fun! it’s dynamic without being overwhelming and makes for a nice alternate.
The retro Jets logo has so much potential, but like Harry talking to Fuller (or trying at least), the gray just falls totally flat for me. What could’ve been eye catching and exciting, otherwise just feels dull.